Retirement

The following post is a result from an email I sent to my mother after having to quickly end a Skype call with her due to favorable and surprising circumstances—our host showing up at the front door with a home-made Croatian meal.

To: mom (7 May 2012)

“So sorry about earlier. So much has been going on the last few days that I have surrendered to just doing (a.k.a.: going with it). I’m doing myself a big favor & refraining from being tense and introvertedly reserved to being open and up for anything and everything. It’s quite rewarding but wow, it’s busy… I wonder if it’s comparable to retiring.”

Retirement |riˈtīrmənt| (n) the action or fact of leaving one’s job and ceasing to work. Yet, I’m not sure retirement should be held to such limitations as leaving one’s job or ceasing to work. Retirement can also be the action of leaving behind one’s habits. You know, retiring from that unhealthy diet, or leaving behind an attitude, or even ceasing a relationship. It’s more of a weight lifted or an opportunity to seize (rather than cease) the moment.

In my case—leaving behind a healing self that I’ve been babying over the last 5 years. Many of the challenges that have slapped me in the face over the last few years have pushed my outgoing personality in. These circumstances include(d) serious health issues, failing relationships and of course, acceptance. I am retiring; I am leaving behind this self-appointed sore I’ve been nurturing, and also using as an excuse. I don’t mind how long it takes for me to get back to that confident 18-year-old attitude of go-go-go. My butt may not ever be as tight and my sun spots may never fade. I accept my lovely flaws—externally and internally. The fight to satisfaction is complex but the only one holding me back from being completely satisfied with myself is me.

There’s nothing wrong with thinking ahead, but life does not begin at age 65.

So, how to do it? Just do it. It can happen over night. Prioritize your yes’s and no’s. Who are you really? Who are you trying to be? And what is the best you, you can be? Go, go, go. Then, eventually when you do relax, you’ll find it’s all quite connected.

-C

Feature photo: Michael and I on Kozjak Mountain in Kaštela, (5 May 2012) one of the most memorable days we’ve experienced in Croatia.

Croatianing

Today we sun-bathed on the rocks until sunset. The new wave of warm weather has awakened the Adriatic Sea. Sailboats big and small, the water ever-moving. Croatianing is such a beautiful thing.

“We live in a wonderful world that is full of beauty, charm and adventure. There is no end to the adventures we can have if only we seek them with our eyes open.” – Jawaharial Nehru

–

Enjoy the unpredictability, and each other

If this pressure is temporary then I will embrace its bad timing
For bad timing never fails to show up, even without reason

In fact, I volunteer to nestle in the arms of the undisclosed
Since when did anyone learn value from the mundane

Not to say, I could go for some ordinary or routine
One of those picturesque and contradicting things

Our earthly pursuits summon an inner tonic I’ve been protecting
For the sake of restoration

I’m done feeling as if I need to heal
Each of us—getting closer to death, day by day

Don’t be brief, pressure; I need you around
Because without your bad timing

I would never wake up

-C

Becoming more

If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more, and become more, you are a leader.  – John Quincy Adams

The beginning of your day is important, it can usually be held responsible for the way the rest of your day is going to go. For me, from the moment I open my eyes or hear my iPod alarm go off, my head is more clear than it will ever be the rest of the day.

There are questions that I have started to ask myself in the morning that are changing my day significantly. You can write these questions on a sticky note and place it on your bathroom mirror, or stick it in your phone alarm as the note or message that pops up when the AM alarm goes off. (I actually use this feature daily with a friendly push message that pops up mid-morning… workout outside, just go.) Moving forward, below are the simple questions you need to ask yourself every morning you wake up. There are of course questions to ask yourself in the close of your day, but this is start!

In the morning:
1. How am I feeling?
2. What do I want right now?
3. What is the single, most important thing I can do today?

The answers should vary day to day, and should even relate to something completely new. I challenge you to try this for one week straight, and see what happens. This is all about becoming more, and taking your dreams a bit more seriously, not necessarily taking you more seriously, but what you can and want to do.

Your dreams and big ideas belong to no one but you, and you never need to apologize for or justify them to anyone.
– Chris Guillebeau

Barbara Sher proclaims in Wishcraft, “Whatever your dreams are, start taking them very, very seriously.”

And lastly, as so much of my inspiration (and the above questions) come from Guillebeau and his book, The Art of Non-Conformity, I can’t help but relate to a statement of his that is most relevant to my life today: I realized that even though I had done a lot of fun things by then [or now], I hadn’t been taking my dreams very seriously.

I am creating a new path, these days. One with over-the-top positivity and fine attention to life, the essence that makes it up, my big dreams and how leadership can help others.

-C

Feature photo: by me, Waking up in the Sahara Desert, Morocco on March 26, 2012.

Where to go next?

I was updating apps on my iPod this morning and noticed a note that I had written back on March 29, 2011. That was 357 days ago. Somehow, I remember this day and where I was when I wrote the note. I was enclosed in my sleeping bag early in the morning, trying to keep warm in our mud hut in the remote village of Nangi, Nepal. This is what the note said:

“For the first time in my life I have realized that I am not following someone else’s path. I have realized that the path we are taking, the path we are creating has been a result of heading toward a direction we both wanted to take. One which unraveled before us, without us truly being consciously aware of it. I have realized that for the first time in my life, I’m not following someone else’s footsteps. Instead, going forward with my life and working to enjoy every moment–being reminded that life is a bunch of moments, and all of these recent moments have been cherished when walking next to you. We climbed mountains, and biked down winding slopes with no breaks (ok, well your breaks worked but my did not!). We took heart pounding bus rides inches away from cliffs. We found humor in our most random meals. We drank some of the most unappealing instant coffee across the table from each other, and whether we actually enjoyed the coffee didn’t matter, because we enjoyed just being around each other. Some moments felt hopeless though and some felt exotic–some felt more than life itself. Michael, I’d do it all over again with you. You pushed me to push my own limits in order to understand that sometimes, the best moments are hidden far outside your comfort zone. You make me realize that most of my worries mean nothing. There is something about you I can’t wrap my head around just yet. There’s something about you that fuels my passionate demeanor but at the same time, encourages a calm temperament inside my heart and soul. Just know that no matter what happens, let’s continue taking each breath with confidence, patience and compassion. Let’s just keep enjoying and creating… I mean, what else would we do?”

Reading this note I wrote to Michael 357 days ago comes at a time in my life where the unknown and mystery were beginning to be a bit too much. At this very moment, we have no ongoing plane ticket, and our visa is soon to be up. But at this very moment, it’s ok. And that feels really good to say.

-C

It is time to evolve away from the perpetually dissatisfied condition

This post is about change, evolution and adaptation.

It has taken me months to finish the book Hooked! Buddhist Writings on Greed, Desire, and the Urge to Consume. (I still haven’t finished it.) I’m not ashamed it has taken me this long. Finally, I feel like I am candidly reading and digesting someone’s life work. I take this book seriously. One page here, 10 pages there. Notes, highlights, inspired bouts of separate writing. It’s because I am interested, I am ready and well, I don’t fully understand.

How could I? I was born and raised in the country that’s pure basis for economic development indefinitely increases greed, desire, and the urge to consume. At this point, I imagine readers becoming defensive and thinking of words and scenarios to challenge my very vague comment about economic development and its consequences in the States and all around the world.

It makes me think of very vague statements I’ve heard Americans say… America is freedom, opportunity. You don’t like it here, leave! If you’re not standing behind our military feel free to stand in front of it.

To address these, you’re right; America is full of freedom and opportunity. It has the freedom and opportunity to change, evolve and adapt. When I travel abroad and experience some of the many problems any other country faces, I can’t help but look back at the States and think, wow, we are so spoiled, we have so many resources within us, this should be an easy fix!

Then, there is the if you don’t like it here, leave… and fortunately, that attitude has pushed me to travel.

How could it not?

If someone is so blind to prospects of change, of course his or her defense will fall into a very uneducated statement, if you don’t like it here, leave!

The statement regarding our military. I want to protect our freedom and opportunity just as much as you do but this is the thing, it’s not working and it’s not so much as it seems. I take the emotion out of that often said statement and listen to how inhumane it sounds.

From my book, “An action seeking only our own gain in this lifetime resembles the actions of animals. Animals help their friends and harm their enemies…Animals want to be comfortable and to be ‘top dog.’ If, stripped of rationalizations and justifications, our actions are motivated by such thoughts, then we aren’t making full use of our precious human life and the rare opportunity it affords us to practice Dharma.”

“The realization that ‘we are the world’ can bridge the gap between our scientific knowledge and the wisdom we need to direct this knowledge to our well-being as we live together in this Earth community.”

Look at how much our human race has accomplished. “Up to this point in human history, we have pursued our desire to know in a way that has given us mastery over the laws of physics, chemistry, biology, and even over our own bodies.” Look at all the change we have endured and the problems we have solved.

Why is there still, not enough compassion? Per Albert Einstein, “A human being is part of the whole called by us the universe, a part limited in time and space. Human experience themselves, their thoughts, and feelings as something separated from the rest, a kind of optical delusion of their consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of love and compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole nature in its beauty.”

For me, this is the most important part, “All of this indicates that we have not been able to harness our knowledge to provide the wisdom we need to live well and be genuinely happy as a global community.” Keep in mind, many individuals have this understanding or connection. And maybe at one time our human race as a whole understood this. However now, it is so hard to see.

I end on this; we can create a life infinitely less cluttered with stuff—internally and externally. Will it make us better people? Will it simplify life? Will it change the world? Will it change you? Will it help show you the true meaning of happiness? Yes.

There are some serious inherent contradictions we are all facing in this mode of life. I look forward to finishing this book and welcoming a continued awareness of being and the liberating truth. Life itself is enough.

I look forward to changing this world for the betterment of the universe and the same damn atoms that hold it all together. Stop consuming so much, don’t buy that new item of clothing or gadget you don’t need. Go help someone who has less than you. Go experience something new. It is going to be more productive and fulfilling than simply looking at a material good and saying I want that. Start with that.

-C

Familia en Espana

Michael once explained to me that one of the coolest moments of his life, was when his parents took a bit over a week, and traveled all the way to New Zealand (where he was living for a year) to visit him.

There is something extremely gratifying about people you love dropping their daily routines to show you that they care about what you’re doing.

So when my sister and her children decided to meet her husband in Spain during his 2-week R&R from deployment, I started jumping around like a little girl on a sugar high. Sharing my foreign experiences through Facebook, my blog, Skype, Twitter, etc., doesn’t exactly compare to sharing them in real time, real life.

As the family, minus my 9-year old nephew vacationed off to Palma Island for a week, Michael and I had a once in a lifetime chance to take care of Zane abroad and settle into our new home for our second month here in Spain.

I should not forget to include how I cried at the airport when everyone arrived in Valencia, or how I watched Zane and Jada live it up in Spanish cities with their true adventurous and child-like spirits. Nor should I forget to mention the incredible breakfast we shared as a family at Jennifer’s Airbnb listing one morning–Chase cooked, kids still asleep, sun heating the terrace… then finishing up the family’s stay in Barcelona with a winning €8/each breakfast on Carrer de la Creu Coberta. The train rides, the awkward I honestly had no idea what that lady just told us to do moments. The walking, the cooking, the laughing.

My time here will soon come to an end due to visa restrictions. And so the journey continues. It doesn’t so much matter to where or with what, but with who. Spain is unbelievably lovely, in so many ways. But the only real way to experience such a place, or any other place on earth is with people. Real people that are right there next to you. Whether they are in the kitchen making coffee, running with you to the beach, day-dreaming with you on a Mediterranean coastal train, or cheering with you at a barrio riot. The only way to go through life is to go through it with the same creatures that are suffering, laughing, learning, and breathing right next to you.

I wonder about home. I hope it’s true what they say.
Home is where your heart and mind agreed to be, in harmony.
Happiness is not a State to arrive at, but the best method of traveling.

I’m not sure if I’ve ever loved my life so much, or maybe loved the people in it so much. For all of the pain and suffering that we experience past, present or future. Never lose the connections you have with people. Remember that the material possessions in your reach will never give you satisfaction. Life itself is enough. We are the universe. And it’s all connected.
Don’t lose that connection.

-C