Where to go next?
I was updating apps on my iPod this morning and noticed a note that I had written back on March 29, 2011. That was 357 days ago. Somehow, I remember this day and where I was when I wrote the note. I was enclosed in my sleeping bag early in the morning, trying to keep warm in our mud hut in the remote village of Nangi, Nepal. This is what the note said:
“For the first time in my life I have realized that I am not following someone else’s path. I have realized that the path we are taking, the path we are creating has been a result of heading toward a direction we both wanted to take. One which unraveled before us, without us truly being consciously aware of it. I have realized that for the first time in my life, I’m not following someone else’s footsteps. Instead, going forward with my life and working to enjoy every moment–being reminded that life is a bunch of moments, and all of these recent moments have been cherished when walking next to you. We climbed mountains, and biked down winding slopes with no breaks (ok, well your breaks worked but my did not!). We took heart pounding bus rides inches away from cliffs. We found humor in our most random meals. We drank some of the most unappealing instant coffee across the table from each other, and whether we actually enjoyed the coffee didn’t matter, because we enjoyed just being around each other. Some moments felt hopeless though and some felt exotic–some felt more than life itself. Michael, I’d do it all over again with you. You pushed me to push my own limits in order to understand that sometimes, the best moments are hidden far outside your comfort zone. You make me realize that most of my worries mean nothing. There is something about you I can’t wrap my head around just yet. There’s something about you that fuels my passionate demeanor but at the same time, encourages a calm temperament inside my heart and soul. Just know that no matter what happens, let’s continue taking each breath with confidence, patience and compassion. Let’s just keep enjoying and creating… I mean, what else would we do?”
Reading this note I wrote to Michael 357 days ago comes at a time in my life where the unknown and mystery were beginning to be a bit too much. At this very moment, we have no ongoing plane ticket, and our visa is soon to be up. But at this very moment, it’s ok. And that feels really good to say.